


the moon is crumbling (but that's okay)

by halftheway



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, M/M, but i'm not mad about it, i'm rusty at tagging please forgive me, please bear with me, this turned out gayer than i thought, updating tags now that more of this is written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halftheway/pseuds/halftheway
Summary: "There’s so much going on, too much, and all Taako wants is- Magnus, for some reason. Magnus, who leaves his door open on sleepless nights to watch over him, Magnus who doesn’t bat an eye when Taako finds himself stopping in front of his bed, just lifts the covers and waits."
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Taako, Magnus Burnsides/Taako
Comments: 19
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this started as a vent fic about taako and turned into something else entirely but i'm not mad at it
> 
> title comes from brian david gilbert's 'see the day'

“Are you ready to do something really stupid?”

Taako takes a breath and lays out his plan for them. It’s crazy, he knows it’s crazy, but it’s the best chance they’ve got.

“So how ‘bout you, Jess? You down with the plan?”

Jess bares her teeth in a grin. “Absolutely.” She links arms with Graham and Angus, grins even wider, and launches herself out the open door, hauling them with her.

The three of them left on the train stare down in horror until Angus pops up, beaming and missing a tooth, and shoots them a thumbs up.

Graham shouts something about how much time they have left and Merle berates him, but Magnus turns to Taako and says, “I don’t know how I feel about this. Shouldn’t I stay and protect you guys?” He looks nervously between Taako and the door. “I mean, are you sure you got this?”

Taako’s instincts kick in and he responds with his usual bravado, listing accomplishments and gesturing grandly. He finishes with “Trust me.” and stands there unsure, looking expectantly at Magnus, who’s motionless. The seconds are ticking by and he hopes he was convincing enough.

“Is this fake confidence your attempt to protect me by getting me to jump?” Magnus says after a few moments. “Or to distract me from that bag of stuff you took from the safe?”

Taako doesn’t have time to wonder how the hell Magnus can see through his facade, so instead he smirks and says, “Hey, look at that. You finally solved the mystery.”

“You know what? Fuck it,” Magnus says. “I do trust you.” He lays a hand on Taako’s shoulder and smiles, and Taako feels himself smile back.

He just stares at Magnus, not quite sure why, until he feels Merle pat his hip.

“Me too. That’s as high as I can reach,” he adds.

They nod, and Magnus throws himself off the train. “This is probably going to kill me!” he yells as he goes, and Taako looks at Merle in a panic.

“What did he mean by that?” Merle asks.

“We should’ve healed him before we let him do that,” Taako replies faintly. He watches Magnus hit the ground, hard, and tumble down the hill. He doesn’t get up, and Merle speaks before Taako gets the chance to start panicking.

“You can do this, right?”

“Man, I don’t know,” Taako says honestly. He doesn’t have it in him to feign confidence right now.

But they make it through somehow, like they always do.

...Always?

Taako shakes himself. This is only their second adventure together, he doesn’t know where that came from. There are more pressing matters to attend to right now anyway, like a maybe-dead Magnus faceplanted in the grass next to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Being carried against his will through the Bureau’s campus makes the top three list of the most humiliating moments of Taako’s life. He’s perfectly capable of walking, thank you, but apparently he ‘needs to eat something, Taako, it’s been days’ and Magnus doesn’t ‘trust you to actually go get food on your own, Taako’, so. Magnus had picked him up with one arm and thrown him over his shoulder, Taako’s numerous complaints falling on deaf ears.

He’d rather die than admit it out loud, but it feels kinda nice. Way more vulnerable than Taako usually prefers to be, but Magnus would never drop him. It feels… safe. Now is not the time to examine his emotional wellbeing though, so he promptly returns to bitching.

Eventually Magnus plops him down in a seat in the mess hall, orders him to stay put, and returns with a tray of food. He sets it down in front of Taako and points at it.

“You gotta eat somethin’ before I’m letting you leave,” he says.

Taako doesn’t take kindly to fingers being pointed in his direction, but does as he says anyway. Said finger being pointed in his direction has some wicked hangnails, so he comments on them as he eats to avoid Magnus asking any more questions.

(It’s nothing anyone needs to worry about, really. Taako’s still not used to having a steady supply of food available yet, and sometimes he just… forgets.)

“You got mad hangnails, my man,” he says through a mouthful of bread. “‘nd your hands are, like, super rough.”

Magnus shrugs a little and averts his eyes. “I mean, I’m a carpenter, or I was. Part of the job description, you know?”

A carpenter. Huh. “Well regardless, when I’m done with this bad boy,” he says, gesturing to his tray. “I’m giving you a manicure.”

It turns out Taako was being serious about the manicure. In Magnus’s defense, a solid 90% of the stuff that comes out of his mouth is sarcasm or goofs, but it’s getting a little easier to tell when he’s being sincere. They’ve got a nice setup on the grassy quad, though why Taako wanted to do this outside is a mystery.

Aside from asking what color polish he wanted, he’s been abnormally quiet as he works. Magnus is too, for reasons he doesn’t quite understand. He’s pointedly ignoring that this probably could’ve been done with magic as Taako holds one of Magnus’s hands in his own and carefully paints each nail a deep blue.

The thing is, Magnus doesn’t really get treated like this. His whole life he’s been kinda rough’n’tumble guy, and he doesn’t- he doesn’t know where to put his hands. Well. Hand. Apparently Taako picks up on that, because he takes Magnus’s free hand and rests it on his own leg, not even looking up.

“I don’t-” he starts, and then shakes his head.

“You don’t?” Taako asks.

“I don’t… I don’t remember the last time someone was this- this gentle with me.” He winces a little, but Taako still doesn’t bat an eye.

“No?”

“No,” Magnus says. He’s quiet for a while longer, trying to remember. The last person to handle him this tenderly was- “Julia.”

This time Taako looks up. “Julia? You mentioned her to Kravitz,” he says, a strange expression on his face.

“We were- She was-” He still can’t say it.

“Important to you,” Taako finishes.

Magnus nods.

“Did you think nobody noticed this?” he asks, gently tapping Magnus’s ring. Truthfully, he had. No one had pointed it out or asked, and he’d just assumed no one paid close enough attention. He shrugs, not willing to admit to it and not trusting his voice. “You don’t have to talk about it,” he continues. “Not if you don’t want to.”

He nods again. “Thank you.”

Taako puts the brush back in the bottle and holds up Magnus’s hand to inspect his work. “What do you think?” he asks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week's chapter is a lil later than i intended cause i got distracted watching the tangled series but !! here it is

“I’m done waiting for the sheriff.” Roswell draws their halberd and steps toward him.

Something down the street explodes, and Magnus immediately turns and runs out of the general store, Roswell chasing after him.

As soon as he hits the street, he sees the smoke coming out of the windows of the bank.

“You guys have been here for 45 minutes, what the fuck did you bring with you?” Roswell shouts, and charges into the bank.

Magnus tries to keep pace, but the deputy makes it in first. He wonders again what Roswell even is, but the thought dissipates as someone runs out of the bank, engulfed in flame and falling to the ground. Automatically, Magnus drops down beside them and rolls them in the dirt, trying to put them out.  
It works, but they’re still in bad shape; they have several burns, and their clothes are all badly singed, including their purple bandana. Merle catches up and kneels to start healing, and as he does, screams start sounding from the bank.

Standing up, Magnus switches the Defender’s Dial to fire and rushes into the bank. The scene inside is… carnage. Several people are on the floor, dead already, and three more kerchiefed ruffians are fighting with Roswell. As he spots a woman at the back desk, cowering behind it, Taako appears at his side, which is… unexpected. There isn’t time to marvel at his presence for long- a beam falls from the ceiling and crashes to the floor in front of the desk. He points in the direction of the woman and Taako nods. They head toward the back, giving Roswell’s fight a wide berth.

As Magnus bends down to scoop the woman up, Taako opens the Umbrastaff over them, shielding them both from the falling debris. Their eyes meet and Taako nods again, his face unreadable.

The woman stirs as they navigate back to the front of the bank. “Who… the fuck… are you guys?”

“We’re here to help,” Magnus replies, as gently as he can manage.

“Just relax, we’re gonna get you outside.”

Together, they make their way out.

~

“You guys talk to her and figure out what’s going on.”

Taako watches as Magnus rushes back into the bank. More of the ceiling collapses, and it occurs to him that they might not be able to get out. He looks around, then, to see if there’s a way out of the bubble itself, but no dice. There’s nothing.

Nothing coming out of the bank either, and his heart is starting to pound. Magnus cannot die in this stupid bubble. He just can’t. He watches anxiously for a few minutes until he sees something:

Magnus running for the door, Roswell right behind him, and- another beam falls from the ceiling. It misses them both, but they’re not out of the woods yet. Taako doesn’t think his heart is beating as Magnus clears the threshold and makes it out, and is in the middle of letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as the building collapses... with Roswell inside.

It’s shitty that his first feeling is relief, but Magnus is safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if any of y'all follow me on tumblr you might recognize the scene in the bank wink wink (ok i originally wrote it from taako's pov but decided to switch it)
> 
> anyway next week's chapter will be less me-kinda-transcribing-the-podcast/graphic novel and more Original Content so !! hope yall stick around for it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> consider this my formal apology for not updating for like. a whole month. in my own defense critical role consumed my life and i've been posting cr fics instead (if you're interested check those out too,,,)

Elves don’t need sleep, not really. Couple hours of meditation generally has them set for the next day, but Taako just. Can't. There’s too much running through his head lately: L-U-P. The Umbrastaff acting on its own, Taako nearly powerless to stop it. Noelle and Kravitz both sensing… something, maybe a lich. The fuzzy edges of his memories. Nothing’s adding up and he is so fucking tired. There’s so many pieces but he can’t fit them together in any way that makes sense, and almost every time he tries he bumps up against that inexplicable static.

So he’s up, pacing the length of his shared living quarters, awake late into the night. Magnus is awake too, hasn’t been sleeping much since Refuge. He’s been spending a lot of time in the Voidfish’s chambers, though tonight he’s in bed. His door is ajar, and Taako can see him when he passes by every so often.

Kravitz had asked if he was a lich, and as far as Taako knows, he’s not, but that long period of static June- or, technically, the Chalice- had shown him could say different. Memory is one of the few things Taako has relied on in his long life, always trusting his own recollection of events, but ever since the Director had introduced the Voidfish and its strange abilities, that trust was waning.

Clearly there’s something being kept from him- from them all- but he still can’t figure out what.

There’s so much going on, too much, and all Taako wants is- Magnus, for some reason. Magnus, who leaves his door open on sleepless nights to watch over him, Magnus who doesn’t bat an eye when Taako finds himself stopping in front of his bed, just lifts the covers and waits.

Taako slides in next to him, crossing his arms over his chest and trying to take up as little space as possible. He has no idea what he’s doing here. This is insane, really, he’s a grown elf and he doesn’t need to be snuggled and- oh. Oh. Magnus is draping an arm over him, heavy and warm, and against his will he feels his eyes sliding shut. He’s holding himself stone-still, unsure. Magnus, for his part, just breathes and lets Taako acclimate; doesn’t say a word, doesn’t ask anything of him… he’s just there. Somehow that’s what Taako needs right now, and eventually relaxes against him.

He wakes up in the middle of the night, which in and of itself is strange enough. Taako rubs blearily at his eyes and sees Magnus lying on his back instead of his side, holding Taako close, the way they'd fallen asleep. He doesn’t know why it bothers him. It _doesn’t_ bother him, actually, but if he rolls over and rests his head on Magnus’s chest, that’s nobody’s business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit short but next update will be a doozy i promise bc it's wonderland
> 
> find me on tumblr @ halftheway or on twitter @ reckless_good !!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of these days i will update at a reasonable hour but today is not that day

“If you accept this sacrifice, you’ll forget Governor Kalen. You’ll forget all about him. You’ll remember what he did to you, but you will not remember who did it.”

There’s a lot of stuff he’s forgotten, apparently, but this… this would be something he chose, and he’s just not sure if he can.

That scroll June had given him still fucks with his head something fierce, and there’s still so much he doesn’t understand. He’s just... confused, and Taako is adding to it but it’s just not the point right now, not really.

“I don’t know who that is but that sounds chill as hell,” Taako sings in his ear, bringing him back to himself.

He laughs a bit. “I mean, right?”

“Just let go, my man. That’s what- whoever the person is, I’m sure that’s what they’d want, right?”

Magnus doesn’t say anything as Taako and Merle urge him to accept.

“Hey, Magnus.” Taako taps his shoulder. “Tell me what happened.”

And he wants to, is the thing. Magnus wants to tell him everything, so badly, but. They don’t have the time. Instead he lets the lich interrupt, lets him say that’s not how the game works, and closes his eyes for a moment. He sees Julia’s face, sees Stephen’s, and makes his decision.

“You know what?” When he opens his eyes, he sees them looking up at him, waiting. “Merle, Taako.”

“Yeah?” Taako says, wide-eyed.

“Don’t try to remind me of it.” It won’t do anything. He tells them the name of the man that took everything from him, and instructs them to “Kill him. And tell him it’s for Julia. That’s the one thing I want you to say to his face before you kill him. ‘This is for Julia’, then you end him then and there. Understood?”

They agree, though not without cracking jokes. He knows it’s supposed to lighten the mood, provide a little levity, but once he has their word he tunes them out.

“Accepted.”

“I just don’t- I know I need to make a decision, here,” Taako says. He looks between Merle, who just lost an eye, and Magnus, who lost the memory of- he doesn’t even know, really. But it’s clear they’ve both lost a lot, and he hates that this is so hard for him. “It’s just- you know. It’s a tough one, right?”

“Everybody’s battles are their own,” Magnus says quietly. “I’m not gonna sit here and tell you that your struggle is worse or less than mine. I realize how hard it-”

Taako just cannot let him finish that sentence. “I’m not- I’m not a good person, this is-"

“Taako, I know you well enough at this point to understand how hard this must be for you,” he interrupts, and Taako falls silent. “I understand if this is too much, and I’ll take two spins if you need to say no.”

That really makes the choice for him. He’s not about to show any sign of sentimentality in front of these liches, though, so he makes sure to bluster his way through a fake explanation of his acceptance.

He doesn’t feel any different. Merle and Magnus are looking him over, and he feels small in a way he decides he doesn’t like. He casts Disguise Self to make it stop, but Magnus is still staring. Fucking True Sight.

The final light over the door turns green, and Magnus herds them into the next room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i haven't forgotten about this fic y'all

Bad luck.

Merle, like always, tries to talk, tries to stall, but Taako doesn’t listen. Instead, he readies a spell.

“I got a fuckin’ idea for ya.”

As soon as his soul is in the ethereal plane, he launches himself up and out of the container. He’s taking Magnus back.

Magnus doesn’t seem to notice him; is busy looking in the opposite direction, actually, but as he finally gets close enough to take his hand, they lock eyes and he nods. He looks behind Magnus, takes in the astral plane. It looks… wrong, somehow, but fixing the planes of existence isn’t Taako’s objective right now. He pulls Magnus further from the tear in reality, and sees a hand come out of the water.

Kravitz.

Taako may not know much about reapers, but he knows he’s not supposed to be in there. He has no idea what to do. He’s within arm’s reach of Magnus, and they’re in a rather dire situation themselves, but it’s Kravitz, he’s got to do something, he can’t just let him-

Before he can decide if saving him too is even possible, the water twists around him and drags him back under. And it feels like it’s starting to call for both of them too.

Taako fights it. He is not losing Magnus. Not here, not like this. He summons what little strength he’s got left and manages to get Magnus fully away from the opening into the astral plane, and suddenly they’re hurtling back toward the catwalk. He realizes this might not work as the rift continues to pull at them, and has a moment of panic.

His downward spiral is brought to a halt, literally and figuratively, by Merle. He’s turning around, his back to Lydia and Edward-Magnus, his arms outstretched in the direction of Taako and Real-Magnus, and then something strange starts to happen. Spectral versions of his soul-wood arm start to reach for them, and without hesitating Taako reaches out and grabs one. He has no clue what’s happening right now, but he knows with absolute certainty that Merle is going to save their asses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know these chapters are short pls forgive me i write moment to moment stuff and am So bad at pacing


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> taagnus fans can have a little update during quarantine, as a treat

“Wait, are you sure? Magnus, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It- It’s the only thing we got. I- we have to play this out. One way or another. And frankly, Taako, at this point we’re not at the point of no return yet. When we get there, we’ll have some decisions to make, but right now this is what we’d be doing anyways.”

Magnus still isn’t too sure how this telepathy shit works, but Taako sends him some reassurance, which soothes his worries a bit.

Taako tries to smoothtalk Davenport into letting them watch the relic be destroyed, but it’s a dead end. This whole thing is endlessly frustrating for Magnus, made even more aggravating by the fact that he’s a fucking mannequin. They need something, _ anything _to go on.

_ “Taako? Taako.” _ He knows Taako can hear him, but he needs to make sure he has his attention.

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Tell him I am also a powerful artifact and need to be destroyed.” _ If the lich- _ Barry _\- is right, if the director has been lying even about the destruction of the relics… Magnus needs to know. This might be their only way to find out.

_ “Are you sure? That’s… listen, uh, kitty cat, I don’t know how many lives you got left in there, huh?” _

He has a point. _ “Alright, well, hold on to that. We’ll save that if we need to get into that chamber.” _

_ “Yeah, good idea though. Keep it on the backburner for sure.” _

Davenport interrupts them, insistently asking for the bell.

_ “Just give him… give him the bell.” _

Magnus nearly moves before he remembers. _ “Say it out loud.” _

Taako’s eyes flick over to Merle, who somehow understands despite not sharing the link. “Give him the bell!”

_ “That was a good fuckin’ catch, Magnus.” _ One of them has to be thinking things through, and they seem to be trading off that responsibility.

Magnus walks jerkily over to Davenport, trying to seem as wooden as possible, stops in front of him, and waits.

“Put the bell in the thing!” Taako orders, and Magnus does.

Avi toasts to Magnus’s memory, which feels weird to witness. Uncomfortably, Magnus says, _ “Taako.” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “I think it’s time to move on?” _

_ “Okay?” _ He glances at Merle and Avi. “I think it’s time to move on!”

They head to Fantasy Costco, and Garfield is… leaving. It occurs to Magnus that if he’s gone, anything he doesn’t take is fair game, including-

_ “Taako.” _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “I need my blood.” _ He has no idea how that tank works, but if they survive this, they could use it, Barry could make him a new body.

_ “What?” _

_ “Garfield has my blood.” _

_ “Okay. Hm. Yeah, sure.” _

_ “I need it,” _ he insists.

_ “Okay.” _

Taako haggles with Garfield as Magnus spectates, dishonestly as always- casting a spell. Magnus can’t quite tell what he’s doing, but he knows Taako is gonna use the spell to get the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom, which he’s currently bartering with, back later. If he could, he’d be smiling.

Garfield gloats as he tosses Taako a ring of keys and disappears. They get into the back room on the sixth key Taako tries, and for the most part it’s empty.

Empty, save for the collection of Magnus’ belongings Garfield had slowly been accumulating, which is strewn across a long table. An axe, a shield, his playing cards. And a few things that aren’t his, stuff that looks like… lab equipment?

There’s something next to the table, something Magnus recognizes but still doesn’t understand. A huge pod, just like the one Barry’s body had been in, but inside this one is… Magnus.

It’s so strange, seeing himself floating there through whatever the hell that green liquid is, but Magnus pushes that aside. He has a body.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another month of quarantine, another update

“Well this presents some unique challenges,” Taako says, laughing. This is probably the weirdest thing he’s seen today. Why the fuck does Garfield have a Grow-Your-Own-Magnus in his back room?

“Not for me!” Magnus laughs too. “I want my body back! Do- is there a button we pu- like, how does- I want. I want it? Please, let me have my body.”

“Wait. Hold on, Magnus-”

Merle tries to chime in, but Taako sees- or feels (he’s really gotta read the instruction manual for this telepathy band shit)- the way Magnus is looking at the pod and interrupts.

“Magnus, you’ve gotta think this through. You… you’ll lose everything. I mean, you’ll be starting from scratch.”

“No memories.”

A wave of panic sweeps over Taako at the idea of Magnus not remembering him. It fuckin’ figures as soon as he’s accepted growing attached, something’s gonna take that away.

“But I’ll have- I’ll have my body back.” He sounds so disheartened. Taako can feel his disappointment

Time is apparently of the essence at the moment, and Taako knows how hard this is, he knows, but every second spent here is a second that could be spent getting answers. “Is it the beard? ‘Cause I’ll draw a beard.”

“It’s…”

“And we have already explained that you’re dead- that you got turned into ash!” Merle interjects. “If they see you the gig’s up.”

“I can’t feel anything,” Magnus says slowly.

“So you can’t feel sad that you don’t have a body, right?” Taako tries to joke, but it doesn’t work.

“I’m- I’m not hungry. I don’t breathe. My heart doesn’t beat. Do you understand?”

“Mmm. I do, I see where you’re coming from, I mean-”

“And that’s me! That’s me! Right there!”

The disconnect between Magnus’s voice and the mannequin’s face is jarring as hell. “It’s- it’s sort of you. It’s your body, but is that really you? I mean, honestly?” None of his scars, or calluses, or even laugh lines are there. Yeah, the thing in the tank looks like Magnus, but everything important currently resides inside this frail body. Barry doesn’t remember shit about shit, and Taako’s terrified the same thing will happen if Magnus takes this body.

Magnus points at the tank vehemently. “Those are the arms that have held my wife,” he says, and his voice shakes in a way Taako hasn’t heard from him before.

And that’s… not really something he can argue. Magnus doesn’t talk about the worn band on his left ring finger, hasn’t mentioned Julia since that time in the mess hall, and Taako hasn’t pressed it. He hates Magnus being stuck in a fucking mannequin, but right now he’s just thankful he doesn’t have to see what his face would look like saying that. (He’s resolutely not thinking about who else those arms have held, because they don’t have the time.)

“I can’t fight, I can’t protect, I can’t do anything in this body,” he says. He’s pacing a little, and it’s so strange to see such a Magnus action be carried out by this small wooden frame. “I have- I have worked all my life to be able to fight and protect and do good.”

“Leave it up to him,” Merle says, shooting Taako a look.

He takes a breath and agrees. “It’s your call, man.”

“But really think about it. Really and truly think about what’s the most important thing to you.”

“And think about the potential of Taako and Merle just-trying to re-educate you about the world. You are coming back the number-one fan of Taako and my personal assistant for  _ sure _ ,” he says, and he can feel Magnus’ annoyance. He doesn’t put words to it, but he’s somehow reminding Taako that they’re making assumptions about what he will and won’t remember. “I mean, I should clarify. You’re running the risk of that for sure.”

“Here’s what I’ve got. Seems to me, like what I’ve got, is an extra life. And it would be wasteful to burn that now. I have a perfectly good body sitting right here, and I’m in a bit of a disposable one right now. Am I wrong? Am I missing something?”

“No, that- that tracks. To me, as I understand it.” It just won’t sink in for him that there’s a chance he could come back as a blank slate.

“And- think about it. We’re trying to think about you,” Merle says.

Magnus nods. “Boys. Head on to the Director’s office. Taako, you let me know when, and I’m gonna make a whole hell of a lot of noise.”

“Okay, but you have to think through this,” Taako says, only a little hysterical. This can’t actually be happening. They don’t have a way to let him know what’s happening- hell, none of them currently know what’s going on, an amnesiac Magnus would just add to how clueless they are. “If we’re not with your body, you’re going to wake up with no idea of what’s going on. You don’t have a fancy schmancy cool coin. You— you will wake up and have no clue.”

They all look at each other, as much as Magnus can look without eyes, and Taako can feel Magnus’s determination. Normally he admires how focused Magnus can be when he’s sure of something, but right now he just feels scared. Magnus has already made up his mind, and there’s nothing and no one on this plane that will change his mind. He looks helplessly at the mannequin’s blank face.

“Leave me the map. Leave me a note. But I can help. This is something I can do with this  _ stupid _ shell of a body,” he says, waving his wooden arms. “If I go in there with you now, as this mannequin, I can’t do anything. But this. This I can do for you.”

For- “Oh— okay. Alright. Uh…” Taako can’t get any of the words in his head to come out of his mouth. He just stares at Magnus in disbelief. If he loses Magnus, loses him entirely- He can’t even think about it.

“You know, next time you see us you probably won’t know who we are.” Merle looks between the two of them, then back at Magnus. If he knows anything, he’s not saying a word.

“I know.”

There’s no stopping Magnus when he’s set on something, and it’s better to let him try. Merle reminds him to put clothes on when he’s back in his body, wanting to lighten the mood, and Taako…

Taako leaves him the sword. 

(Okay, he leaves him the sapphire that can summon the sword and a quick note, but his way of putting it just sounds cooler.)

It’s the best shot he has at keeping Magnus alive, and right now there are more important things than how cool that thing looks strapped across his back.

Magnus watches his friends leave and starts laying his possessions out in front of his body. His mind is spinning with memories he can’t process or explain, and though he knows Merle and Taako aren’t leaving for good, he feels scared and alone.

But now isn’t the time for fear. He picks up his old shield and battle axe, and as he turns to leave Fantasy Costco, Taako crashes into his chest. He stumbles back a bit, mannequin body nowhere near as sturdy as his own, but wraps his arms around Taako just the same. They don’t have time for words, not really, but at this point they don’t really need them.

_ “Be safe.” _


	9. Chapter 9

Magnus creeps into Fisher’s chamber as stealthily as he can, being wooden. He tries to take a deep breath to steel himself before remembering that he can’t. So instead he reaches for Taako through whatever telepathy links them.

All he hears is screaming.

If he had blood, it would be running cold. Something is wrong with Taako, he should _ be _there, he has to go help-

He's halfway out of the room before his head catches up with his heart and remembers that’s not where he needs to be right now. Despite how much it kills him, he ignores Taako’s screams in his mind as he steps toward the massive tank in the center of the room.

  
Taako holds his head in his hands to stop what feels like a splitting. Flashes of memories are coming back to him, and he doesn’t understand. So many of them are of Magnus, but they’ve never- they aren’t-

Those memories are sidelined as everything else - as _ Lup _ \- floods back. He falls to the ground, hyperventilating. His sister, how could he forget his _ sister _-

...Right. 

Lucretia.

She finishes her explanation, turned away from him, and he stands, drawing himself up to his full height.

“Ten.”

Lucretia stares at him, wide-eyed and frozen in place trying to help Davenport up. 

She looks incapable of speech as Taako continues his countdown, unwavering. Out of the corner of his eye, Magnus draws his sword and takes a defensive stance, face unreadable.

“What the hell are you _ doing_?”

Merle, the peacemaker, the man who spent decades sacrificing himself trying to understand the Hunger… of course he’s gonna try to defend her. Taako knows where he’s coming from but he doesn’t _ care,_ his sister is gone and even his _ memory _ of her was taken-

“The chance to explain yourself was- mmm, about a dozen memories ago,” Magnus says, advancing on Lucretia, and she flinches.

He doesn’t back down, and neither does Taako. “You fucking took _ everything _ from me.”

More than just memory- security, the ability to let his guard down, loving and being loved in return… his _ sister_. He’s been living a decade without his other half, without his heart, wondering why he never felt at rest.

This is fucking why. This is what’s been missing.

Lucretia continues pleading with him, but he suddenly can’t hear her over his heart pounding. The adrenaline suddenly leaves his system and the will to be angry, the will to give a shit… it’s just gone. He lowers the Umbrastaff and steps back, ears ringing.

Magnus moves between them, sword still drawn.

Everyone is talking all at once. Arguing, he thinks, but can’t tell what they’re saying. It doesn’t matter.

“Do whatever you want,” he says, and even to himself he sounds broken. “I don’t care anymore.”

“Taako, please just trust me,” Lucretia says, and Taako doesn’t have it in him to scoff. Like he’d said, the list of people he trusts and things he believes is no one and nothing, least of all her. She keeps talking, and Taako tunes everything out again, trying to focus on the images of his sister- of _ Lup_. Her long blonde hair, that freckle on her left cheek, her crooked smile… How could he forget?

Taako resolves then and there that Lup is the only thing that matters. Fuck the Hunger, fuck barriers, fuck the Bureau and the Director and the whole fucking moon. He’s gonna do whatever he has to do so he can survive and find a way to get his sister back, everything else be damned. She’s it.

“Taako, listen.” Magnus has turned to face him, big hands on Taako’s shoulders grounding him. “I know this is tough, but you found her! Maybe not how you expected to, but when you weren’t looking, you found her. That’s how strong your connection is to Lup. She’s _ still _ helping you, you’re still working together. And she wouldn’t want you to give up.”

Give up? Does he really not know, after the past year- scratch that, the past _ century_\- that Lup is the one thing Taako has never, will never give up on? There’s a few decades of that century in particular that Taako is resolutely ignoring right now; he doesn’t need any added complications. He needs his sister back, that’s all there is to it. Whatever happened in the past is dead now as far as he’s concerned.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” he says calmly, pushing Magnus’s hands off his shoulders. “And I’m on board for whatever the plan is. But understand this: I have nothing, and I don’t give a shit. The world is ending, and _ I_. _ Don’t_. _ Care_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic has been So sporadically updated for so long and i think i'm gonna bring it to a close soon! thank you to everyone who's read this or left a comment or kudos it means the world to me <3


	10. Chapter 10

Long after the dust has settled, Taako does some digging. He travels to the ruins of Raven’s Roost and works his way backwards from there, asking anyone he can find if they know what happened.

Lup had been back in her body for about eight months when Taako decided to start. The promise he’d made to Magnus in Wonderland wasn’t one he intended to break, but. His sister is his priority. Always was, always will be, and he knows Magnus understands that. She’s getting worried about how long he’s been gone, Taako can tell, but they both know this is something he needs to do on his own.

Merle, on the other hand, has been trying his best to help whenever he can. It’s his promise too, after all, but Taako turns him down every time. He’s got his kids to spend time with, an earlship to… run. Taako doesn’t actually know the details of it, truthfully, but he knows it’s more responsibility than the old man lets on.

So he’s been roaming, looking up former residents of the city Magnus used to call home. Even with him being a savior of the multiverse, most of the survivors don’t give him details about what happened, terrified of their new homes and businesses to the same fate.

He gets stories instead. Stories about the Magnus they knew, once upon a time; a kind and gentle man, albeit rough around the edges, dedicated to his craft, a man who rose to the occasion when his town needed.

It takes weeks, but enough people have finally let enough slip that Taako feels like he can piece everything together. Corrupt governor, rebellion, the victory and loss that followed.

Taako knows loss, better than he would care to admit. But nothing like losing a community, a mentor, a wife in one moment.

Magnus doesn’t talk about his life before the Bureau, has only mentioned Julia by name twice. The only remnant of his former life is the wedding band he still wears.

Post-moon base, a good number of the Bureau’s employees moved into a fantasy apartment complex in Neverwinter, and as luck would have it, Magnus was among them. Next door are Lup and Barry, natch. (Taako refuses to have Lup any further away. Lup refuses to have Taako any further away, so that works out pretty well.) But now, he lives across the hall, which means no more doors left open for Taako to know when it’s okay to slide under the covers with him. No more wordless invitations for intimacy, which are for sure Taako’s jam.

Now if he wants- well, he doesn’t know what he wants. Magnus, mostly, but with their memories returned and Taako knowing everything he does about Kalen, Raven’s Roost, Julia… he’s been keeping his distance. A hundred years to an elf is a decent amount of time for sure, but for a human, it’s unfathomable. All the time they’d spent together, in training at the IPRE, onboard the Starblaster for a fuckin’ century, working for the Bureau- and yet the small amount of time they spent apart changed Magnus so much.

Taako figures he’ll need space for awhile to process it all. Which is why he’s surprised when he finds Magnus knocking on his door.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Magnus begins, as if Taako of all people needs an explanation. “I couldn’t sleep, and I was thinking about- everything, and then I was thinking about how we used to- and I was wondering if-”

Taako just opens the door to let him in, wordlessly leads him to his bed.

They settle in like nothing has changed, and Taako begins to relax for the first time in weeks.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Magnus says softly.

He’s not stupid, he knows what Taako’s been doing, no matter how discreet he’s tried to be.

“I wouldn’t call it _ avoiding_,” Taako mumbles. “Just… trying to give you space.”

It feels stupid to say out loud now, here in the dark together. Talking things through, especially things like this, has never been his strong suit, but for Magnus’s sake he’s been _ trying_. Which he hates. Vulnerability with anyone but Lup definitely scares him more than anything, but with so many people in his life he now knows he can trust without reservations… He has to. Magnus, of all people, deserves it.

“Don’t want space.” He holds Taako a little tighter and says, “I just want you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fully thought i started this bad boy late december of last year it's Such a trip realizing it's been in progress for over a year now! thank you so much to anybody that's stuck with this story for so long, i appreciate all of y'all <3 this fic is gonna be wrapped up before the end of the year, there's only one or 2 chapters left !!


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